Regardless of how cold hearted some people may seem to us at times, believe it or not, we all do experience emotions. We feel anxiety, depression, anger, fear, and countless more. If we all have feelings, then why does it seem like some people experience more or more intense emotions then others? Do they just not feel as much as everyone else? Is it true that I’m just ‘too emotional’?
Let’s take a step back and evaluate the ways that your strong emotions are impacting your life. Do you find yourself getting in countless arguments with your coworkers or family? Maybe your relationship with your significant other is becoming overwhelmed with your jealous behaviors, or your friend count is diminishing due to your depressed mood or anxiety.
It’s normal for everyone to feel various emotions in response to a situation or conversation, but what it really comes down to is what we do with those emotions. If we react very quickly to an intense feeling, it can be a recipe for disaster. There is no such thing as a wrong emotion; for every person experiencing it, it is right for them. No one should ever feel guilty for what they are feeling. However, the behaviors that follow, frequently on impulse, is where we have more control to limit their negative impact on our lives.
If it sounds difficult to control intense anger, worry, sadness, or frustration you are both right and wrong. It takes effort, but with practice it is very possible. The following steps will help to do this:
Identify your emotion(s). Knowing if you are feeling jealous, disappointed, embarrassed, hurt, or rejected rather than simply madis an important thing to determine. When you notice signs of having an intense emotion that seems to impact your relationships, take a moment, and name it. The more specific, the better. Keep in mind that you can be feeling several emotions at once.
Observe. As tempting as it may be to say or do something immediately, and it is likely an inconvenient time to take a break, give yourself permission to simply sit with this feeling and observe it for a moment. You can even close your eyes (if you’re driving at the time, you should pull over first!) and visualize what color that emotion would it be if it had a color. Then notice where you feel it your body.
Release. Now imagine just that color in that area of your body and imagine it being broken down into many tiny particles. As you continue to breathe in and out slowly, picture those little tiny particles leaving your body on each exhale. Continue to notice them in your body on your inhales and exhaling them away, giving them permission to leave you on your exhales until you notice less and less of that color in your body.
Relax. During this break you will be providing yourself time that leads to calmness and reduction in the intensity of your emotion. Once you feel like your emotion isn’t taking over your entire vision, body, and mental space, then take a big deep breath from deep in your core and notice the sense of relaxation.
React. This is the time to decide if you would like to share your thoughts and feelings with someone, take a walk, write down your thoughts, plan your next move or continue on with what you were previously doing. Your mind will be more clear and your emotion won’t blur your thought process as much, which could prevent you from doing or saying something that you regret or that was unnecessary.
If you’d like to learn more tips for managing emotions, contact me and let’s make that happen.
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